Lady Elizabeth's Repair Man
by Reefgirl
Summary: System malfuntions are plaguing Elizabeth's life. Radek is sent to repair them, the more he repairs the more they break down. Is someone trying to tell her something. Weir Zelenka ship, not one of my best but I enjoyed the challenge.


Title: Lady Elizabeth's Repair Man

Rating: T for language

Spoilers: None

Pairings: Zelenka/Weir. Rodney/Katie, Carson/Laura, John/Teyla all established

Summary: Elizabeth is unhappy and having the week from hell, nothing is going right with the systems in her office or her rooms. Dr Zelenka is sent to repair them, the more he repairs the more that goes wrong, is someone trying to tell her something.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters blah, blah, blah.

Authors notes: Thanks to Fififolle for the Plot Bunny. This story has been a bit of a challenge for which I'm grateful.

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John and Teyla had been big news for a couple of days now; at long last they'd finally got together. Elizabeth was glad for them, really she was she'd said so hadn't she. She was trying desperately to ignore the little spark of jealousy that burned in her breast, she wasn't jealous of Teyla finally getting John, he wasn't her type anyway, she was jealous of the fact she was the only one of her circle of friends that was still single, God even Rodney had a regular date in Katie Brown. Carson had Laura and now John had Teyla, there were even rumours flying around that Ronan had a date somewhere in the city. She sighed as her laptop blinked a couple of times and finally died, great! The perfect end to a perfect day.

"Rodney is there a problem with power in the city?" she asked into her earpiece

"Not that I'm aware of" came the reply "What's the problem?"

"My computer died" she replied, Rodney sighed

"Can it wait?" he said

"Not really I was working on the weekly report," she said

"Ok I'll send someone up" he said. She sat and slammed the lid of her computer down, the way her luck was running she'd have to spend all night rewriting the report. She picked up some papers that were on her desk and knocked her coffee over the rest; she mopped up the coffee with the ruined papers and hurled the cup out of the door with a scream missing Zelenka by an inch. He peered nervously around the door.

"I can come back later" he said, Elizabeth glared at him and he recoiled.

"Don't you dare" she said. He looked even more worried, Elizabeth sighed "I'm sorry Dr Zelenka it's been one of those days" Radek nodded, he understood.

"Rodney said you are having problems with computer" he said

"It died on me" she replied. He sat at her desk and started so poke at it, Elizabeth went out and retrieved the pieces of her cup, when she got back Radek was still hunched over her computer.

"So?" she asked, he shrugged

"I'm going to have to take it back to lab" he said, Elizabeth slumped into a chair and rested her head on the desk, she wanted to cry.

"Ok, when can I have it back" she asked

"Tomorrow, it's all I can say" he replied, she lifted her head and smiled

"Thanks" she said. He put a hand on her shoulder

"Take my advice, go back to your room, get into bed, pull sheets over your head and don't come out until morning" he said. She gave a halfhearted laugh

"Sounds like a good idea" she said and followed him out of the office.

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**The Next Day**

Elizabeth had taken Radek's advice and gone straight to bed when she got back to her room. This morning she was feeling better, not quite so angry more like lonely, she was just going to have to get used to it. She stopped off at the mess hall but not wanting to put up with happy couples, she grabbed some coffee and a couple of Danish pastries and sat on the balcony.

"Dr Weir your computer is fixed" said Zelenka's voice in her earpiece

"Oh thank you, what happened to it" she replied

"I don't know, I got it back to the lab and it worked ok, but..." he waited; he knew she was going to be upset.

"What" she said suspiciously

"...the weekly report you were working on, is gone" he said, Elizabeth could have cried

"Thank you Dr Zelenka, I guess it's my punishment for yesterday" she replied.

"Never beat up computer, it will always win" he said. Elizabeth laughed.

"I realize that now, thank you" she replied

She got up to her office, she hoped it would be quiet because she needed to finish the report, this time she was going to back it up on disc every five minutes. Her door was closed, odd she thought it was always open, she tried the panel with no luck, she pushed the door and it still wouldn't open. She sighed and tapped her earpiece,

"Rodney my office door won't open" she said.

"That's weird Radek said he'd put your computer back in your office about ten minutes ago, Radek..." Rodney's voice muffled as he spoke to Radek "he says your door was open when he went in, I'll send him down to fix it" he said.

A few minutes later Radek turned up

"Hello again" she said "this is getting embarrassing"; Radek smiled and got to work unlocking her door. Ten minutes later and her door was open

"Be gentle with systems today please, if I have to come back I throw cup at you" he said with a grin.

"Only if you promise to keep Rodney and Kavanaugh out of my hair, I've still got the report to write" she replied

"You have deal" he said.

Chuck and the other technicians turned as they heard a scream come from Elizabeth's office. They saw her run, dripping wet, from her office, it looked like the sprinkler system had turned itself on.

"Rodney!" she yelled into her earpiece "what the hell is happening, the sprinkler in my office just came on". She heard him mutter "I don't believe this"

"I'm sending Radek up to you again" Rodney replied. When he arrived, Radek took one look at her and tried to smother a smile,

"Laugh and I'll throw you off the balcony" she said. He straightened his face and got to work. When he got the sprinkler stopped she went into her office to survey the damage, she groaned as she picked up the waterlogged computer.

"I'm never going to get this report written" she moaned. He took it off of her.

"I'll see what I can do" he said.

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Elizabeth had showered and changed. Rodney had reported that the clean up crew had finished with her office and her computer was fixed but her report had gone, again. She was going to have to call the SGC and explain that the report was going to be a few days late. She ran her hand over the panel to open her door, nothing.

"I don't believe it" she screamed "Rodney!" she heard him sigh "I'm trapped in my room"

"I've run a diagnostic and there are no power problems, viruses or corrupted programmes, I don't know why this is happening to you"

"Just get me out of here" she begged.

"I'm going to start charging you a call out fee" muttered Rodney. After a couple of minutes, there was a knock at her door

"Dr Weir?" said Radek

"Not. One. Word. Radek" she said through gritted teeth

"Ok" he replied, she could hear him laughing. Half an hour later and her door opened

"Why me?" she pleaded "why is this happening to me, did thirteen black cat's cross my path or did I walk under a ladder, is a gypsy pissed at me? Why?" Radek shrugged and they started to walk back to the office.

"I've been checking systems since yesterday, I found nothing. You have Gremlins, it's all I can think of" he replied.

"Gremlins? like the film" she remarked, he shook his head.

"No, I've heard stories from British RAF about problems with aircraft they believed was mischievous spirits called Gremlins. The air crews believed if treated Gremlins with respect your equipment would work" he explained. Elizabeth laughed.

"You're not serious are you?" she asked "I know the Czech people are superstitious but you don't believe in fairies at the bottom of the garden do you?".

"Not everything can be explained by science, treat the Little People well and they will leave you alone" he replied "or maybe you have upset Atlantis". Elizabeth didn't say anything, it was widely accepted now that Atlantis was sentient and had mood swings, it was just her luck the city had PMT.

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Elizabeth knew she had no choice but to explain to General Landry that the report was going to be late. Chuck dialled Earth and set up a link for her, Chuck and the rest of the technicians were standing as far away from her as possible; the stories about her bad luck were beginning to spread. She smiled when Jack O'Neill's face appeared on screen.

"General O'Neill how nice to see you" she exclaimed

"Hi Elizabeth, Hank and Carolyn are 'bonding' so I said I'd stand in for him, what's up? You're a day early" he replied. Elizabeth sighed.

"The weekly report is going to be late, we've had a rash of technical problems, every time I start writing my report something happens to my computer and I lose everything" she explained, Jack frowned.

"Wraith?" he asked, she shook her head

"Dr McKay and his team can't find any problems" she sighed "Dr Zelenka thinks I have Gremlins". Jack pulled a face

"I hope your CMO's given you some ointment for it" she said with a playful grimace. Elizabeth laughed

"No-one can explain it, all I can say is you'll get my report if I survive this" she said. Jack nodded and smiled

"Hey you've survived the Wraith you can survive a few sulking computers" he said. Elizabeth smiled back

"Thanks Jack" she said as she turned off the monitor. Unbeknownst to her, on the other side of the wormhole Jack received a static shock as turned off his monitor. He called for Colonel Carter to run a gate diagnostic.

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On day three of Elizabeth's problem with the Atlantis systems people were laughing at her misfortunes, on day six they were openly avoiding her. John Sheppard was in sickbay after being struck on the head by a ceiling panel in a transport tube he'd been sharing with her, Ronan was still shaking from the static shock he'd received from his lunch tray after joining Elizabeth at her table. Major Lorne was also in sickbay after the beam of the wraith stunner Elizabeth had been practising with ricocheted off the target and struck him. Rodney had been seen drinking from a hip flask when she'd called and Miko and Kavanaugh had taken to hiding under a table whenever she'd turned up in the lab. The Curse of Elizabeth was striking the population of Atlantis down, the only person it hadn't affected was Radek, he'd come back from fixing all her problems without a scratch.

Radek had managed to fix all the problems in her office and she'd breathed a sigh of relief, the SGC had received her report four days late. On the seventh day she gingerly crawled out of bed and went to the shower, she switched it on but no water came out, she reached for her radio and tapped it

"Dr Zelenka?" she called. She'd stopped calling Rodney a few days ago when someone told her he'd started weeping and banging his head on the desk at the sound of her voice.

"What is today's problem" he replied,

"Shower" she said,

"Are you locked inside" he asked,

"No, there's no water" she replied

"I will be with you in few minutes" he said. Five minutes later there was a knock at the door.

"Have you clothes on?" Zelenka asked

"Yes" replied Elizabeth. Radek came in and started to fix her shower; "I'm so sorry about this" she called out

"Is no problem" he replied

"How's Rodney?" she asked

"He is better now you call me instead of him" he said. Elizabeth didn't know whether to laugh or cry

"You know you're the only person who doesn't run and hide when they see me coming" she said.

"Only angry Wraith and a pissed off Atlantis frighten me" he said as he came out of her bathroom "shower is fixed"

"Thank you, I guess I'll see you in a couple of hours" she said wryly. She was about to step in her shower when she heard Radek groan and the sound of something hitting her door

"JÁ don't do prdele domnívat se ono" he yelled "Tato hloupý město is jednání tato dobře uvážený". Elizabeth stuck her head out of the door

"And in English that means...?" she asked. Radek blushed

"Ah...someone is doing this deliberately, I'll have door open soon" he replied. Elizabeth finished her shower and though about what Radek had said as she was dressing, she'd had the same thought, someone was setting up these problems. They only happened when Dr Zelenka was on duty, every time she came in contact with a man on the base something happened to him yet nothing had happened to Radek, she really wished she knew who she'd upset.

"Zatracený dvere!" said Radek "I can't get it to open". Elizabeth went to make some coffee and handed him a cup

"Don't fight it" she said sitting down and curling her feet up under her, Radek sat with her "so what do you think is going on, is this someone's twisted idea of revenge?" he shook his head.

"People usually leave a trail, command code traces, access codes, even deleting can leave something to follow, this...this I can't understand" he replied.

"So you still think it's Gremlins" she said with a smile.

"I really don't know but it's driving me mad, I don't like it when things beat me" he said, Elizabeth giggled and tapped her cup to his in salute

"Same here" she said, she was thinking she didn't really care if he couldn't get the door open she was enjoying herself. Looking for a change of subject Radek spotted a book on the floor, he picked it up, looked at it and then at her and smirked.

"Lady Chatterley's Lover, can SGC arrest you for reading this?" he said with a laugh. She joined in the laughter

"Just don't tell Colonel Caldwell, he'd head up the firing squad, no I got a list of 100 of the worlds most banned and challenged books so I decided to see how many we had in Atlantis, seeing as I have so much free time on my hands since I became Persona Non Gratia" she replied

"And" he asked

"We have at least 40 so I decided to read them", she grinned "I got this from one of the botanists, she said she reads it for the gardening hints, apart from that it's really boring" Radek nodded.

"I know" he said, she gazed at him with a mock stern look

"You Radek, you don't strike me as the type" she teased

"When you have lived with censorship it's natural to want to read anything the State says you can't" he replied. She squeezed his hand in sympathy. Both of them turned to look as something in the door clicked and it slid open.

"How did that happen, what did you do?" Elizabeth asked. Radek looked at her and shrugged

"I don't know" he ran his hands through his hair "I can't explain" he said. This was getting stranger and stranger, Elizabeth was still certain someone had set this up and was playing games with her.

"I guess I'll get back to the lab" said Radek, she nodded, surprised at the disappointment she felt.

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Over the next week the systems problems confined themselves to Elizabeth's quarters, when she got back in the evening she'd always find some niggling little problem that needed fixing, Radek took to turning up about five minutes after Elizabeth got in, to save time he said. She found herself inviting him to stay after he'd finished repairing her systems. Sometimes they played chess, Elizabeth wasn't surprised that he could play well and he'd told her she was a challenging opponent. Sometimes they played cards, Elizabeth turned out to be quite a card shark. Usually they just talked, Elizabeth found herself looking forward to Radek's visits, she enjoyed his company she always had she thought to herself, but she'd spent too much time feeling sorry for herself to notice he was there.

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Two weeks after the problems started, they suddenly stopped. On the fourteenth day Elizabeth got back to her room later than usual after an uneventful day to find nothing out of place, everything was working and there were no nasty surprises waiting for her. The odd thing was she felt disappointed; she had no excuse to call for Radek anymore. She couldn't invent problems because he'd see through them in an instant. The fixing of the problems had left her with more of a dilemma that finding out who had caused them in the first place. She was standing on her balcony when he came looking for her.

"Is there anything you need me to repair" he asked, she shook her head

"No there's nothing broken anymore you've fixed everything for me, even this" she replied as she put her hand on her heart, she kept her eyes on her shoes not bringing herself to look at him. He put his finger under her chin and pushed her head up so her eyes met his, then he kissed her, gently at first then with more passion. A thought struck Elizabeth,

"She was behind this all along" she said between kisses "Atlantis set all this up to bring us together". Radek chuckled

"I realised two days ago" he said

"Why didn't you say anything?" she said

"You had to find it out for yourself" he replied, she realized he was right. She started to protest but he silenced her with a kiss,

"What are we going to say to everyone else" she said

"Nothing" he replied "it's none of their business; let them find out on their own". She knew he was making sense, a lot of her problems stemmed from not wanting people to find out about any relationships she was having, feeling it was inappropriate for the city leader to be in love with one of her colleagues.

"You're right, it's nobody's business but ours, if they find out we'll be gossip for a few days then something else will take over" she replied. They kissed again, not caring who saw them.

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Elizabeth opened an eye and looked at her clock; she'd have to think about getting up soon. She ran her foot down Radek's leg and thought she deserved to be late for work for once, he ran his hand down her spine and pushed her onto her back.

Three hours later Radek strolled into the lab.

"Where the hell have you been?" asked Rodney

"I had to let Elizabeth out of her room, eventually" he said, with a look of innocence on his face

"Haven't you fixed that yet" Rodney remarked "I don't know why you don't move in with her, you seem to spend most of your time in her room".

"Not just yet", he said with a smirk, "I'm going to get coffee" and he left Rodney with his mouth hanging open.

Elizabeth was in her office finishing up the report, she was having difficulty concentrating and who could blame her after last night, she was going to have to invent a reason for all the system problems. She couldn't tell General Landry that Atlantis had created all the problems so it could bring her and Dr Zelenka together, incompatible technology was always a good one. She saved the report and started to back it up onto the disc she was going to give to Rodney to send to Earth, she got up and stretched she needed coffee and something to eat as she'd had no time for breakfast earlier. She picked up her book, Lady Chatterley's Lover and smiled, she was going take more notice of it this time she might pick up a few tips.

**FIN**

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JÁ don't do prdele domnívat se ono - I don't fucking believe it

Tato hloupý město is jednání tato dobře uvážený - This stupid city is doing it deliberately

Zatracený dvere! - Stupid bloody door


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